


Run After Wind Roads

by Cristinuke



Series: Symphony of Rusted Power [14]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death (Not Main Characters), Drinking, Dubious Consent, Emotional Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Service Submission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 01:21:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1709819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cristinuke/pseuds/Cristinuke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki takes care of Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Run After Wind Roads

**Author's Note:**

> Please note the tags, as they're slightly different than usual.
> 
> Wow guys, this is it. Seriously. This is the last of this series. I never expected it to ever get this far, but I can't say that I regret it. 
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have! :D

"Tony? Are you in here?" Loki called out softly. He'd tried everywhere else, the workshop, the garage, the kitchen, the living room, everywhere but here, their penthouse.

There wasn't a reply, but Loki could hear the soft chinking of ice moving against glass. Loki let out a quiet sigh and silently closed the door behind him. Loki closed his eyes for a moment, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to find.

Loki walked into the darkened room and it took him a moment to find the silhouette of Tony, sitting in an armchair in the corner, facing away from the room in favor of the bright city lights that gently illuminated the room. Loki padded over to the corner and stopped himself just a few feet away from the chair. He could see Tony's outline, slumped in the armchair, with one hand absently teasing the rim of a half-empty glass of whisky as he surveyed the view below. Loki knew Tony wasn't really seeing anything.

"Tony?" Loki tried. Tony didn't move or acknowledge Loki, save for his fingers halting for a moment before resuming their mindless pattern on the glass. Loki didn't know how drunk Tony was, but he knew that if he left right now, Tony would continue until he drank himself to death. He'd almost succeeded a couple days ago, but Loki had found him and cleaned him up. It hadn't mattered because before he could get sober again, Tony had found another drink and made sure to stay as drunk as he could.

Loki didn't think Tony had been sober in over a week.

"Tony, you need to rest." Loki said softly. He knew for a fact that Tony hadn't laid down in a bed since this all started, too much time throwing tools or burning machines in the workshop amidst attempts to drown himself in alcohol to settle down.

At this, Tony gave a bitter laugh, too dry and dark. Loki heard him mumble something, sure it was an insult of some sort, and then he gripped the glass and brought it to his lips to take a sip.

That was enough for Loki to move. He walked around the chair until he was looming over Tony, and reached out to grasp the glass that was in Tony's hand. Tony didn't fight him when Loki took his drink away from him to set it further along the table, out of Tony's reach.

"Drinking isn't going to help you, Tony." Loki said gently. From this angle, he could see Tony's face, the shadows from the room making him look even worse than the last time Loki had seen him. His face was gaunt, and there were dark rings under his eyes. It was Tony's blank stare that scared Loki the most. "It's not going bring him back."

At that, Tony finally looked at Loki, dragging his empty gaze to Loki's. He looked furious for a moment, but then it morphed into pure desperation. Before Loki could think to say anything, Tony schooled his expression back into an indifference that wasn't fooling anyone.

"Gotta try som'thing, I'guess." Tony mumbled, tone bitter and self-deprecating. He turned his face away from Loki and searched for the glass that Loki had taken away. When he saw it was far away on the table, Tony made a half-hearted move to reach for it, but slumped back down in the chair when Loki stopped him by putting a hand on his arm.

Tony made a irritated noise, but Loki could hear that it had no bite to it at all. When Tony tried again to get up to reach for the glass, Loki wrapped his fingers around Tony's shoulder and gently pushed him back into the chair. He kept his hand on Tony's shoulder, pressing into him lightly as a request to stay. Tony ignored him and tried to get up for the third time. He moved sluggishly, and Loki didn't think before he straddled Tony, firmly placing his full body weight on top of Tony's lap and effectively pinning him down to the chair.

Tony whined and wiggled his hips, uselessly trying to dislodge Loki, but he had no strength left.

"Ge'off, Loki," Tony protested weakly, his hands coming to Loki's waist to try and push him off. Loki simply adjusted his weight so that he was seated even more firmly. When Tony realized that, he brought his hands up to Loki's chest and attempted to push him off by unbalancing him. Loki was quicker, though, and his slim fingers wrapped around Tony's wrists to then tug his arms down to their laps.

It was too much for Tony, who gave up entirely, shoulders slumping and head bowing. He let his arms and hands flop down so that Loki was in total control, his fingers still gripping wrists. Loki could feel defeat radiating from every line of Tony's body, and it made his heart ache.

"It wasn't your fault, Tony." Loki stated. He knew it was the last thing Tony wanted to hear right now, but he was currently unable to escape it, and Loki needed Tony to understand this. It wasn't just Loki who needed Tony to understand it. Everyone else knew it, and had tried, but no one could make Tony believe in anything he didn't want to believe in. Which was why Loki had to try.

When Tony refused to acknowledge that Loki had spoken, Loki repeated himself, voice more firm and confident, "It _wasn't_ your fault, Tony." Loki felt the way Tony's chest contracted, breath hitching on a choked sob.

"Fuck you, Loki." Tony gritted out, "It's my fault he was out there. My fault I couldn' get there in time, didn' 'ave better repulsors, didn' tell 'im to _leave_ , didn'-" Loki simply pressed a finger to Tony's mouth, and Tony couldn't keep talking. Loki could feel Tony's lips moving against his finger, but no sound came out.

"Happy knew exactly what he was doing when he went out there, Tony. He did it completely of his own accord, and he saved a lot more people than just you. He was a hero, Tony, through and through." Loki told him. He wasn't even surprised anymore at the irony of him comforting Tony about the fall of a hero. Loki was too helpless to do anything to cheer Tony up.

 Tony, for his part, shook his head and made a shaky noise that sounded more like a broken moan than anything. Loki cupped Tony's cheek, and Tony leaned into the touch, shaking a bit before realizing he was seeking comfort and pulled away. Loki reached his other hand up and cupped his face, not giving Tony an out, and forcing him to look up at Loki.

"It was Happy's choice. And I’m sure if he were here right now, he'd kick your sorry ass for thinking it was anyone's choice but his." Loki murmured, rubbing a thumb gently across Tony's cheekbones. Tony shuddered and closed his eyes, breathing out heavily. He reminded Loki of a horse settling down after running a field in panic.

Loki bent down until his forehead was touching Tony's, "You did everything you could, and that's more than anyone could ask of you, especially Happy. It wasn't your fault, Tony. Please remember that."

Loki stopped Tony's movements when he started to shake his head again. Tony must have started feeling too constricted because he started pushing at Loki again, and wiggling his hips in a futile attempt to get rid of Loki. When Loki reached a hand down and dug his nails into Tony's forearm, Tony sucked in a harsh breath and tried harder, a vague attempt at bucking Loki off.

Tony immediately went still, however, and his breathing stopped.

"Loki, please." Tony begged, "Ge'off." Tony was still frozen, and it took Loki a moment to reel in from the sudden change to realize _why_ he'd suddenly stopped squirming and started begging, unprovoked.

Tony was getting hard with all the movements he and Loki were doing.

 Loki was about to lift himself off and apologize, when he realized that this might be exactly what Tony needed to get back on his feet.

Grabbing Tony's wrists again, he pinned him down and bent over Tony to whisper in his ear, " _No_."

Tony shivered as Loki's hot breath touched his skin, and it seemed like Tony was at a loss of what to do. Loki had never seen Tony look so unsure and confused before in his life, and it wasn't exactly a look he particularly liked.

"Loki." Some awareness snapped back into Tony, and he made to lift his hands up again, but Loki pressed down on him again. "Let me get up. Please." Tony was enunciating more clearly now, but he still lacked any force behind his words. He sounded more weary than anything.

"No." Loki repeated. Tony seemed to crumple inwards a bit at the word, whatever fight that was left in him, gone. Loki took the opportunity to kiss his cheek, softly and hesitantly, before gaining more confidence and kissing down his jaw and neck.

It was impossible not to hear Tony's hitch in his breath, and the way he practically melted against the chair.

"Loki…I can't, not-, I can't." Tony was mumbling his protests as Loki released his wrists in favor of running his hands up and down Tony's sides and chest. Tony didn't make a move to explore his newfound freedom with his hands, however, letting them rest where Loki had placed them.

"Tony, you need to let go. You can't keep trying to kill yourself. Drinking won't change what happened." Loki told him in between soft kisses and caresses. Tony sighed and tipped his head back, unconsciously Loki guessed, and didn't fight him when Loki began to unbutton Tony's shirt.

"I'm not, try'n to kill myself…" Tony objected, but Loki could hear how thin the protest sounded. He may not be actively trying to do anything, but Loki knew that if he happened to not wake up one day, Tony wouldn't be put off by the idea. At least not today. Loki felt like it was his job to remind Tony why he should come back to the living world.

Loki decided he'd show him by kissing and licking every inch of new, exposed skin as he finished unbuttoning Tony's shirt. Tony was breathing a little harder, and his eyes had slipped closed while Loki took the opportunity to trace along the vulnerable flesh. Whenever Loki shifted to reach more, he could feel how hard Tony was getting against his ass. When Loki deliberately rolled his hips down, he was surprised to hear Tony whimper softly.

"You're okay, Tony. I've got you." Loki reassured him, squeezing his shoulders in comfort. Tony's eyes snapped open, and Loki was taken aback by the open and raw expression he saw there. Loki didn't even know he had moved until he was pressing his lips against Tony's, and was even more surprised when Tony simply let him take control. Loki kissed him deeply and felt how Tony shuddered underneath him.

When he felt Tony's hips twitch upwards, Loki pulled back, admiring the glassy look in Tony's eyes. Without much care, Loki pulled up and off his own shirt and started unbuckling Tony's belt and jeans. Tony's hands came to rest over Loki's, in an attempt to halt Loki probably, but he didn't do anything, simply letting Loki continue his task.

Loki finished unbuckling everything, and then he shimmied off of Tony's lap, with a low, murmured, "Stay." For a moment, Loki thought Tony was going to ignore him, but when he knelt on the floor and started tugging at Tony's pants, Tony only lifted his hips up to help Loki pull them off. Loki did note that Tony had turned his face away and closed his eyes again, in an obvious display of shame. It was such an incongruent image to the Tony that Loki knew, that it felt almost like a slap across the face.

It was easy to pull off the rest of the jeans, especially because Tony hadn't been wearing shoes. Tony's cock was hard, and curving towards his stomach. As soon as Loki pulled off and threw aside the pants, Loki pushed apart Tony's legs, earning a shocked moan from Tony. Tony gave a token of resistance, trying to close his legs again, but Loki didn't let him and instead, pushed his own body in between. Tony gasped and went limp when Loki took Tony in his mouth in one go.

The distraction was a success, and Loki sucked slowly, pulling off only to slide back down. Tony's hands came to the back of his head, resting, and the most hesitant Loki had ever known him to be. Loki busied himself on sucking and licking Tony's cock, listening to cut-off groans and sharp intakes of breath, while Loki worked on getting rid of his own pants, fumbling with the buttons and zipper, and just wriggling out of his jeans. He opened himself ruthlessly, using spit-slicked fingers and ignoring the burn of it.

Tony didn't seem to notice, too preoccupied with Loki's mouth, so it was shocking to him when Loki pulled off with a quiet _pop_ , and then straddled Tony's lap again, naked.

"Loki…" Tony's protests were lacking heat more and more, and they hadn't started with much in the first place. Tony opened his eyes again, this time in surprise, when Loki grabbed Tony's cock and positioned him carefully. As Loki started to lower himself down onto Tony's cock, Tony gripped the chair's armrests, finger digging painfully into the upholstery. The slide down was uncomfortable, but when Loki shifted and planted a foot next to Tony's hip, he was able to sink down easier, seating himself with Tony fully inside.

He stilled, letting Tony and himself get used to the tightness and suddenness of the situation. Tony was shaking and his knuckles were turning white. Loki could see that his eyes had slipped closed again, brow furrowing deeply and mouth parted open.

"Tony," Loki whispered, voice rough with emotion, "Let me take care of you." Tony nodded roughly, still refusing to look at Loki. Loki cupped Tony's face again, and brushed a thumb along his cheekbone. "Use me. Let go, and use me to let go."

Tony opened his eyes, and Loki could see how hazy with tears they were. Tony's bottom lip quivered, and Loki bent down to kiss him softly. His thumb swiped along his lip when he pulled back, and Tony choked back a wet gasp.

Finally, Tony nodded. He nodded and gasped out, "Yes, please, Loki." His voice was thick and hitching on air as tears started to run down his face. Loki reached a hand to the back of Tony's neck and gently brought him forward, so that Tony could rest his forehead against Loki's shoulder. With his other hand, Loki reached back and grabbed onto Tony's knee for balance as he lifted himself up and sank back down. It was rough and slightly painful, but it felt right, so he did it again, and again.

After one such thrust, Loki felt Tony sob softly against him and one of Tony's hands suddenly was gripping Loki's thigh, fingers digging into the flesh and very likely creating a bruise. Loki kissed Tony's neck and fucked himself deeper, feeling sweat starting to slick and slide against their skin.

"You're okay, Tony, it's okay," Loki murmured in between worshipping his neck with kisses. Tony shook against him and Loki could feel his shoulder grow wet with tears and Tony's open mouth against him.

"It wasn't your fault. Fuck, Tony, none of it is ever your fault." Loki grew more and more adamant, hands growing just as tight on Tony as Tony's grip on him. Tony sniffed and panted as his other hand came up to wrap around Loki's back and shoulder, clinging to him and plastering his face harder against Loki's chest and shoulder. Loki sank his fingers into Tony's hair, torn between holding him tightly and petting him in comfort.

They didn't fuck fast; the emotion in what they were doing was too fragile to simply be called 'fucking', and Loki knew it. He knew it, just as he knew that it felt right to be taking care of Tony like this, in this only way Loki knew he could. Loki could feel his eyes burning with tears threatening to spill over, surprised at his own depth of intensity. But he ignored it, focusing solely on helping Tony realize the depth of which he was cared for.

Loki didn't know how long they were there, rocking into each other and sharing something so intimate. He just knew that this was where they were supposed to be, what they were supposed to be doing. He knew it. He didn't know why, but he knew it to be true.

Loki gasped out loud against Tony's ear when Tony's hand suddenly fisted his cock. He started stroking languidly, at the same tempo that Loki had set since the beginning, and soon, Loki was shaking as hard as Tony.

Tony sniffed and pulled his head back from Loki's body and gently let go of his shoulder to cup the back of Loki's sweaty neck. With an urgency Loki was surprised by, Tony pulled him in to crash their mouths together, teeth and wetness and desperation mixed into the kiss. Loki swallowed Tony's cry when he stilled, his body going tense as he came, cock milked by Loki clenching around him. Loki wasn't far behind, spilling over Tony's fist as he panted hotly into Tony's mouth.

They stayed like that, frozen in time and shaking hard, for a longer time than Loki knew. Tony's hands tightened around Loki, desperate grip as if Loki could disappear in a moment, and Loki couldn't help returning the sentiment, pulling Tony in as closely as he could, just breathing him in, all the sweat, tears and pain.

Tony let his head drop back to its original spot on Loki's chest, nuzzling his way into Loki's neck to press a kiss lightly there. Loki caught his breath and smiled tiredly when Tony nipped at him playfully.

They were going to be alright.

Holding onto each other, Loki knew they were going to get through this.

And when Tony breathed against him, "Thank you, Loki," Loki smiled at how far they had come, and how much further they could go.

With a smile hidden against Tony's hair, Loki replied with, "Anytime, Tony, anytime."

 

**Author's Note:**

> The End.
> 
>  
> 
> I can't tell you guys enough how happy and grateful I've been that you've stayed and read all of this. It's meant a lot to know that people were enjoying this series, especially because I never thought I'd ever write something like this (let alone this pairing, haha). So thank you, so, so much for sticking it out with me. (And thank you to Nonymos, who read and commented on all of these fics to tell me if they were alright to post, haha)
> 
> This series didn't have a beta, and I don't know why I didn't ask sooner, but I'm looking for a beta for my other works. I probably won't write Tony/Loki again (though I guess, never say never, eh?) but I write pretty much every other combination in the Avengers, so if that's something you think you could be interested in, message me! :D (I figured, if you've gotten this far in this series, you know how depraved I can be when it comes to sex, so I doubt anything else I throw out there would be a shocker, lol)
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading this. It has been such a fun thing to write and post. :D
> 
> Till next time!


End file.
